you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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