why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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