just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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