dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We just shotgunned beers for America
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
