Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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