I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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