I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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