Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize