Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
