What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
