he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
