I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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