I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
