Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Randomize
