So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
