I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
