Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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