Sponge bath it is.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
