Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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