What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
