That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
