I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
