Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
