Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
