White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so let's talk penis.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
