Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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