she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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