You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
