..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
