Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
