You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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