Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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