at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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