i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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