I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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