it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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