Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
