dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
