Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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