R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
