Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
