i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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