ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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