I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
