hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
