I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
