i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
