absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
