he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
