is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
