Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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