He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
