Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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