if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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