Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
