Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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