Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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