if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
