Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize