I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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