She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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