I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
